I don't know....

I know that the topic I know and the other topic others know are different... 

I tried to share or talk about some issues about some celeb I like to her. She was like "so... It's not a bother to me or doesn't make a different if anything happen to them". Inside me was like ,"WTH... I'm trying to talk and share something I like to you and you don't give a damn..."

I know there super different on things we like. Interest of music is totally different. I don't watch much dramas now, since I'm kinda restricted to computers and tv was spoiled and parents for give a damn to replace it. I really really want to know the stories the dramas going on, eventhou is Taiwan or Hong Kong drama. I don't watch doesn't mean I don't like. So you won't share this kind of matter to me cause I don't give a damn. That's why there's always a freaking gap between you or anyone when others don't really give a damn about you eventhou you want to be in. 

Enlighten me please on some current affairs you interested in. If not... There's nothing to talk about between us. You said you like to talk, but you won't share some, make me hesitant to share with you cause the response to it kinda a bummer. 

Damn... I know now I'm upset... But... Fine... Gotta let it go.... Peace out (Y)

Some minor minor regrets...

I actually posted a tweet

 @AngelaCMX: realize the 1st person think of is not the 1st person that other think of you

Then I realised, it's also partly my fault... And I deleted that tweet... 

The purpose I post that tweet cause I suddenly feel lonely and thinks that no one thinks of me. I mean excluding my family, since they were closes to my everything. The closest friends I would like share everything and won't judge. I do have. But sometimes, I think that I'm not that person to them. Everyone have their own gang. I used to have one. It kinda fade away...

For example, I got this things and I want to share it and just tell this person, cause she/he is the 1st person I would like them to know. Later on, I realised that when the other person got something happening to their life... I'm not the first person to know... I know it's kinda selfish 

And this post is kinda gonna sound like previous post about the jealousy. In a way... It's related. 

When I deleted it, because it's who I am. When I get jealous... I do stupid things.. I ignore them. As in literally ignore my friends and pretend I didn't see them. 

It me that didn't just show up when I see them, instead I see them giggle around, I would walk the other direction, cause a small part of my don't want to hurt more of not be part of it. In the end, it's my fault that I didn't join them. Later, I hurt more knowing they have more fun and I'm miserable... 

Even I saw them and in fact... Ignore them. Some times, even they see me... They don't know whether approach me. Inside of my wanted to be approach by people, so I know that they want to know me or be one of them. Another hurt again, when they hesitate to come over me, but end up didn't approach me... Haiz....

That's my minor regrets of not approaching them. Peace out (Y)

Fine fine!!

I can't help it but feel this way. I know I shouldn't be, but I do!!!! 😢😢

I think a mentioned a bit, just a tiny bit about a crush. Haiz.... I mentioned about I added the person in fb, then I try again on other social media. I waited and waited, still no freaking response from other social media that I followed him. 

Tried to change my profile pic, so it's the same with the other, tried to share the post from the other media in fb. Both pic and post, the person 'like' them. And I thought he might forgotten me, since pass by in campus, the person didn't see  or notice me. That's why I was kinda wanted to give up. Today, I went a run, and saw him, and he said 'hi' back. 

Now I feeling damn confuse and upset. But at the same time, I wanted to give up tht damn crush. And just want to be normal.... Like a normal friend and no other feelings.

Normally I'll post photos of my outings with friends. But now, not so much, cause of my phone/camera quality. Or friends posting almost same photos. So I won't post. That's why I also seldom link Instagram to fb. Now I'm back to not link insta pics to fb :/

Hazizzz... anyway peace out (Y)

New kicks!!!

Ssooooooooooo haaaaaaaaappyyyy!!!! 

Teng got bought me new kicks!!!!! 

He somehow got discount for Adidas product. So after dinner in Jaya Mall we went OC to buy. 

I can't wait to wear them 😝😝😝 they look so pretty!!! I wanted blue colour, sadly no my size. But this look frezzhh!!!! 

Peace out!!! (Y)

In my own room xDD

Heehee... My mom been. Planning to come to Puchong to keep the house in shape. Since Tat gor and Pearl jie are now staying Beijing. So the house is vacate. 

Anyway, yesterday everyone or most of the students of Sunway Tes we're rushing to enroll for the classes for next sem. Dinner I had Sushi King, cause they having this offer of one plate RM 3. So yeah... I was so nervous too eat too much but I still eat😁😁 is just that not much

In the end, I managed to enroll for what I what. One thing for sure, the server was lag as hell. My friends all complain about the server in the whatsapp group chat. And someone said everyone refresh the page like flushing the toilet. Man.... That's funny 😂😂

Then after dinner, I packed and prepare to go Puchong. While transferring my things to the car. There was a cat just sitting outside or in the porch of my house. So cute!!!

Anyway... I wish I could play with the cat. But I got to do what. Normally, I notice this cat will sit where the place where the dustbin outside, like the tiny compartment, on normal days. The cat will run away whenever I go close. These few days it starting to come closer to me, but not too close. On raining days, it will hide where we keep our newspaper outside. I think there feels warm :/

One things I'm excited to go stay in Puchong is my room!!! I love my room!!! 

Wanted to take selfies, thought of posting in Instagram... But it didn't look good... So screw it and post it here xDD

Anyway, it feels nice to be in my own room. Can focus more properly to study I hope 

When I went for the run, this morning. Actually, while walking back, I happen to look up and saw this

Peace out (Y)

Just a small matter

Hmm... Is just thinking of a crush... 

Every time when you think you realize you having a crush. So you end up adding them in fb or Instagram or whatever social media you could think of. Then when they added you in one social media, but didn't follow in other social media for whatever reason you thought. 

And for some moment, you thought you maybe got hope to know that other crush. 

One day, you happen to bump to the crush in a food court or whichever place that is crowded. And he saw you. In the end, there's not a single 'hi'. 

The imaginary senarios of just say 'hi' just crush and burn. And realize all these while it was nothing. All the small talks were like nothing happen. It just a mere fade memories. 

At least there's part of impermanence. It hurts a bit knowing it's true. Why do I think so much??? Knowing there's a very very very slim chance that I would like to know him or be friend at least. Added in Facebook doesn't mean his your friend, that's for sure. 

I should be move on on whatever I'm doing. The crush thingy is a small matter and it's fiction. Not reality. Unless someone, someone to make a move to be friends. 

Just so happen I scroll in twitter 

Haiz... Peace out (Y)

Dental experience

Yup... I actually never went to a dentist to check my teeth. Those school checkings was not included. And when I was still a kid to pluck out my baby teeth. 

The purpose of me going to clinic for to scaling my teeth and at the same time, maybe check for cavities. 

I know school been checking, but I don't know what they check for. 

So morning around 9.30am, I went to the Kelana Jaya dentist, the government subsidies, I think. Not to mention, it has lots of people.

It had been awhile that I haven't been there since that last time I pull of one of my big baby tooth, cause and feel like a tooth starting to grow from the side. So my mom at that time, quickly bring me there, so don't let it to be worse. 

Anyway... When I reach the counter to get a number. I was super blur, cause I don't know what to do. So I took the number and wait. The lady at the counter gave me a weird look. And slowly guide me the procedure. Man.... I felt so embarrassed at that moment, cause I so noob. 

I waited for very long..... Until 11am, only my turn. The dentist that help me check is a Chinese lady :) 

Anyway... She nice and the result of my teeth is pretty nice. She said, she can't help any cavity and there's no need to do scaling. 

I was like 'woah... I didn't even take care properly, and no cavity. And I waited for hours and got this results....'. Then mom told me at least you got good news be relief with. So yeah

That's my dental experience for today. Peace out (Y)

Just another day past

Few days ago, my father just scolded me for not focusing on studying, about me keep failing and compare me with his friends' children on how long they gonna finish this course (ACCA). About What ever I did, listening to music is a bad habit. And why not get a degree in listening music. About me keep following my bro and mom go out and no time taken to study. About me drinking carbonated drink. About me going out. About the table I study is messy. About the meditation course(man... He was totally wrong about this. It's not a meditation course!!! It's a development youth society!!) about me being stupid like my mom(I don't like he said that). A lots of about he mention, but I was mad at the same time... So didn't really pay attention some of it. 

When I tried to defend myself, my mom stops me. So when that time he scolded, I just keep quiet and let him talk and talk. This few days it's had been tough. I couldn't go out. I only could go when he is outstation. He also keep scolding my mom for keep going out and blame on the Sunday classes she went and say she didn't learn anything and says there's no love. 

WTH??? What you know about it??? If you want love, then you don't be so grumpy and always look all things negatively all the time and so my mom and me will approach you easily. Whenever you bad mood, there will be like a BIG HUGE angry wall around you. 

Last month I already think for myself, whether want to stay back at campus until the library close only come back home. But I end up throw that plan away cause, I want to have naps and exercise and I can. 

After he scolded me, I was like, "Fine!!! You want me to study?? I go campus everyday(try) and study, cause I couldn't face you to study case of your damn ugly aura". Of cause I didn't say that out loud... 

And I did today. Going campus, after lunch. 

I did study thou. Do pass year questions. F9. But very slow... Now I'm in a big trouble for finals... I stay from around 12pm to 5.45pm, I manage to do 2 questions, out of 5. This is bad news. The six hours plus all the dilly dally. But is at least something. At home, I couldn't do anything. More distraction and think. At campus wifi not that great... So I think that's good in a way and they also block some game server. Some of the main games I couldn't play. 

I are a early lunch today and it's only salad. So around 3-4pm, I was feeling hungry already. I did pack some tiger biscuits. I knew that's not enough. So I went to pyramid and try out the new Christmas Starbucks flavour. The Christmas Cookie Frap. When I got to pyramid, there was a big crowd and they were a huge fans of 5SOS. And there was a lot honking sound, so I was very distracted. When I ordered... I ordered wrongly. I went and ordered venti size instead of tall. Then I cause the barista that served me a problem. I felt bad....

When I got home today... His mood was still the same I guess. When I got back home, the kitchen was in chaos. He just simple THROW some oven utensils clothes all messy on the dining table. My mom even said, when he prepare pumpkin for dinner, he go throw here throw there, knock the chair here and there. The skins of the pumpkin also all over the sink and he didn't clean up. End up it's my mom and me have to clean up his mess. 

Haiz... I really don't know what his deals is...  Anyway I hope things are getting better and I could progress my revision faster and more effective. 

Peace out (Y)

Eye infection

Hmmm....

I have been having some eye infection. I only it today, after consult one of close friend of father, which is a doctor. 

All these while, I thought it was I rubbed I eye too hard until the inner corner of my eye crack?? I think that's the word. Cause the skin look cracked and if dry, like wound, I tend to peel it off and it bleed a bit. 

And also... I before it gotten serious... But having lots of 'eye poop', don't know the actual term.... As for today, not as much as last few weeks ago. 

When I got worried was when whenever I blink, the harden/dry part of the skin will cause some irritation. 

End of... After seeing the doctor, he said its infection from the contacts lens I'm using. Great.... T_T 

I admit, I think last month I forgot to change them XC

And now I need to eat some antibiotics and put some eye drop every 2 hours. Hmmm... And I couldn't wear them for 10 days. What!!

Lesson learn is must change contacts when it's time. Or at least take care properly!!!

Peace out (Y)

Disappointed myself

Haiz.... Why can't I do anything that's right?? I felt like I keep causing problem and trouble to people that I'm working with.

I think one of the old post, I forgot when, but I broke a key... So last meeting of a camp, the exco-logistics pass the sets of key to head programs... Then someone told another to remember to teach how to use the key. When I heard this, I was like kinda sad... If I was more mindful, i might not broke the key. And I won't be feeling like crap. 

Then today... I found out that I booked a booth on the wrong dates to promote the camp. And the exco for that society misunderstood. And again, I caused another problem. 

Why why why??? If I pay more attention, then I won't make so most mistakes???? I thought that time I book on the correct date. I didn't expect that I book on the wrong date.

Haiz... Anyway... Peace out (Y)

Petrol station

After class, when to the petrol station that was on the way to my place from campus. Last week, I went and pumped petrol and the guy that helped me to fill in the gas, keep insisting on filling full tank or use the slightly good/pricey gas. Of cause said no to everything. And finally I said, "fine, I'll do it next time", to stop talking to me or what. Cause I'm not comfortable with them. 

When I reached the station, the same guy that help last time, recognized me. So when I parked my car, he went and shake the damn car. Gosh... I dislike that moment. I was like, "why the hell you need to shake the car like an ape trying to go it or I'm not even close to you"

I finally got of the car, cause need to pay and they won't leave me. The same guy think he close to me and keep asking me the same old questions, "full tank.... The better petrol...." But I still insist what gas I wanted and how much I wanted to pay for. Lucky for the other guy for helping me out. 

The other guy did try asking some questions, although it was awkward but it's alright. This guy!! Totally gives me a UNCOMFORTABLE vibe. Errrr!!! Now that guy gonna call me 'London' cause that time I was wearing a big 'London' tshirt. 

Damn!!! All the way back from the gas station been swearing and mad about the incident... Next time... Next time... I'm not gonna fill petrol alone again... Unless I have no choice. 

Peace out (Y)

The beard man!!!

I know this is a small thing, but it's not offen that as popular as a youtuber get to favourite one of the tweets!!! 

Taylor, the beard man favourite it!!! Ahhh!!!! It made my day so happy 😝😝😝😝

I was alreay half heartily listening to EDC. But I still paying attention. Even now I actually writing this well in class :P

Can check the video here http://youtu.be/XZ6rv2ZC3Kc

Cause I don't know how to put the video here via phone. Unless I update this post by using computer

Peace out (Y)

Heels!!! For fun

Had dinner in Paradigm Mall because Teng gor wanted to buy a new pair of working trousers at M&S

So while he was testing or trying out pants, I in the other hand testing some heels

I been trying to find this kind to heels, cause it looked kinda cool. Even mommy and bro said it look nice and ragged looking :)

Sadly, I didn't buy them, cause I bought wedges few months ago and I haven't even started wearing them. I'll feel bad if I buy another pair of shoes and not wearing them. But I'll still keep an eye out of that kind of heels next time :)

Peace out (Y)

Kids with food

Today, after followed mombuying all the food that we need for the week, we went to the top floor to eat breakfast.

While eating, I happened to see a kid around 5 years old that was sitting at the next table from where I was. This kid was fed by his auntie or grandma, I'm not sure. He was fed with chee cheong fun and ais kacang.

My 1st thought when I saw was the ice kacang, "woah... Ais kacang for breakfast... Dad will be so mad if I do that, lucky kid"

Later on, then I saw his mother was leaving his sis, I assumed, cause she was also around his age. I notice that he wanted to follow them. The auntie/grandma stop him because of he did not finish his food. I overhearded that his mother then tried to explain to him that they were only gonna buy girl's clothes and not gonna buy toys, but he still wanted to follow them. I think that's when they got my 2nd time attention. 

I could see that the boy already finish more then half of the plate of his food and I could say that he left like only few three to five more spoon of adult size. I

see that he already don't want to eat, but she insist him to finish his food and say 'don't waste the food'. He still constantly fed the boy, one kid-size-spoon of food, then another spoon of ais kacang. 

My mind was thinking, "WTH... That kid is like 5 years old. I'm pretty sure he is super full already based on how empty the plate is". The lady keep in feeding and feeding, and sometimes she even needed to force him eat even wen he tried to resist her. I felt bad for the kid

Peace out (Y)