Human Behavior during Desperate Times

 Finally 2021 is the year I had entered as a working citizen. 

Quick summary on my career path. I still have not finish my ACCA, as I still stuck with 3 professional papers for god knows long how long. And meanwhile, I got my OBU degree, since got a tiny feeling that I might not have my ACCA certification.

Life so far is slow and copping with working and self study at the same time, which I am not doing well and struggling to juggle both at the same time. Respect people work and study at the same time

2020 is a terrible year for everyone, covid-19 hit pandemic.

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Ookay... Let's me share my experience or rant that I faced today before I forget.

I had started in a healthcare provider company as an intern in January and confirm a contract staff in April. I am not a frontliner, but just a normal small account executive

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Yesterday, my manager had sent some of my colleagues and me (newbie) to "volunteer", in World Trade Centre (PWTC) for the 1st day of vaccination of AstraZeneca. I was in charged to updating the system of mysejahtera for patients to 1st dose vaccine complete and inform the patients the upcoming steps. I like to think and take this as a blessing in disguise, as I can will learn new experience in this new journey and I should be proud that I took at least a small part in these difficult times

Already did not show a good impression to the higher up people, cause I reached late to travel in trains and got lost on the way since its early for the main door to open in PWTC. Not to forget to mention, the convention hall is HUGE. 

Lucky the PIC from my company did briefed to me again and I made it to the overall briefing with the whole team. Listening to the head of ATM for this event vaccination, was inspiring and scary at the same time, because I don't know what to expect. He emphases the important of teamwork and must make sure or avoid errors. I still remember he mentioned, "If 1 person or station facing problem, is the whole team's fault". Pressure was on.

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9am, citizen came in the convention hall slowly and surely my station was filled up no time. As this is my 1st experience dealing with pandemic first hand. Uneasy citizen, patient citizen, grateful citizen, selfish citizen and etc. However, one thing for sure in these people's mind wants to get this thing out of the way. "Jaga diri, jaga kita", care for self, care for others

As morning just started, everyone(staff and volunteer) are just trying adapt to the situation. 

So far so good, if citizen scan all the documents and QR codes accordingly, got their jabs, wait patiently for their turn to check out from the hall.

Of cause citizen would be pissed off their turn was cut and if they waited very long. In the beginning of the morning, sitting were not organised and citizen just walk to the counter whenever they would see its just vacant for a second and cause others that not so daring to cut and wait even further.

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There are few sections, for citizen to come in for vaccination, from what I understand ( I could be wrong, as I only know my section, which it was not ideal in this situation)

1. gathering outside, filled in consent form  

2. consultant station and registration, like any question, declarations, doubts and confirmations

3. vaccination

4. 2nd registration to complete 1st dose in system + observation period 

5. You're done

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So far so good, things are going smoothly on my side, except the observation and registration for completion sitting was a mess. 

Then suddenly, on my end, I was stuck. It seems, the citizen I was dealing didn't scan, it seems the vaccination serial code. So I had a difficult time to proceed. And I was in a rush, I didn't finish registration part, I already let them sitting wait, then only I try to finish the process in the system. At the same time, other person already sit in front of me. "Why are they so fast??"  

Of cause I need to deal the issue I had at the moment and the person gladly sitting in front of me waited patiently on the counter like its their life wouldn't let go, if not they'll miss their chance it seems. Can't blame them at the same time.

I asked PIC for help. Then I tried explain and relay what had told to me and I tried the best I could (but my mind was panicking) to a runner to assist me, to ask for the vaccine serial number and bring back to me to manual key in. Because no one at the moment understand what I was trying to convey. That situation made me delay the time for so long.

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The issue I faced just now I still can accept and learn from my mistakes and try to improve the way I did. Because I was trying to rush and I didn't even finish the process, I already sent them away for observation period. 

Okay, this was a small matter for what I am going to explain, but to my ego.. not small. From the previous issue, there was consequences. I made people waited even longer. And who voice out the loudest if things don't go their way??? No offence. Aunties. and social media persona 

I know it was my fault to for the delay. Please understand both side on the situation. Just because one person was complaining and I know she was talking about me (her eyes on me and later the PIC was warning me to speed up), but she mentioned all the station (yeah right 😣), but I can understand and accept the fault.

What sprinkle salt on my wound was, this girl... while patiently waiting for me to settle her case, so goes on Instagram and share story on the situation 😑

" Hi guys, I now just vaccinated, waiting to finish the process. However, there's an aunty complaining that she wait for so long.... blah blah blah..." Her camera also pointed to the aunty... WTH.. why do you need to do that and share? 

Yes, I was upset. Was at denial at the same time... also gladly I kinda don't need to serve the aunty.. afraid I would break down on the spot. This matters only for awhile and past. Try not to think so much and move on. 

After that, things were going well, and faster and the same time. I embrace the mistakes and try to be more efficient. Also halfway, there was an helping hand to write the covid card, as this took the most time and my hand writing was a mess too. 

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In the end of the day.. all is well.. pray all the went thru me are well too.. Its weird and needed experience I need to face, since I am passive character, and help to to break a bit of my comfort zone.

Am I that weird???

This semester I'm taking F8 and F4... No need to say. I'm going solo on F4. I kinda made a friend, a foreign student, in F8 cause coincidently that I was at the same class as her in P2. 

So I normally go early to class to book a sit for myself and her at the same time for F8. One day, I went to book, couldn't find a place that could sit 2 person. So went up sitting at the back. Later, I think she didn't see me at the back. End up I sitting alone. The next few classes, she didn't find me to sit with already. She find the other classmate that sit bit front. 

The next few classes, I tried to sit near them, hopefully she saw me or something. Those few classes, I sat around the same group of guys. My classroom is like auditorium like, benches sit. One day, I went and book a sit for myself. I already saw the guys bag at their sit and I saw that there was few available space. So I sat there and mind my own business. 

When the guys came back from lunch. The guy that was about to sit next to me was having big reaction. Like sending a message to his friends that he don't want to sit with me. And he thinks I didn't see his reaction or I don't get his reaction. 

Maybe I'm just being paranoid or something. He might not be talking about me. But the feeling isn't nice. It feel super awful. At that moment I keep convince myself that he isn't talking about me, even part of me might ask keep myself "Am I that bad??"

During our class, my lecturer wanted to the students to discuss in pairs about what she had just taught in class. In his gang, the guy next to him is the odd one out. I could see that his buddies was like, "dude... you gotta pair with her". By judging his face was like "Shit...". End up, he discussed with his friend that sat behind him. Then I tried to have some discussion with another pair of girls that sat in front of me.

I know it will happen to anyone. Like you think that 'this is my territory'. Of cause, when someone you don't know happen to be in the territory, you will be caution and think that the other party was like strange creature that you wanted to avoid and ignore them.

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Then during the break, I went to cafeteria. Don't want to be around that group of people at that moment. So after I bought my coffee and saw the foreign student that I was friend with eating some fried chicken with her other buddy. I thicken my skin (I'm a shy kid, okay) and just join them. I got introduce to the other buddy and ask whether that I could sit with them next class. Permission accepted. Yay!

The next class, I purposely don't want to go class early to book a sit for myself. When I reached the class bit later, I already saw the group of guys and my friend was already there. The guys sat bit more behind and my friend sat more to the front. So I show them the fine-I-could-sit-here-dont-need-to-sit-next-to-you look and sat with my friends. And of cause, I felt much better. 

Small moment of revenge for myself. During this break, I went and bought coffee at cafeteria and I bum to that guy, and I pretend I didn't see him. Back to class, I was sitting at the side, I need to let myself out the allow the students that sat in the middle of the bench out. So when I was out to let the students to sit back on their sit, the guy that sat with me at the last class was about to come. I allowed him to pass through before I sit back. I also show my behsong face to him, but he said 'thank you' and pass me. I thought I heard some guilt there, maybe not. lol... I'm evil at that moment... 

But this small moment just made my mood bit better. It's ridiculous, I know. Antisocial people have feelings too, okay. Just be careful and don't insult people so much. Or don't insult or offend people in general. Be bit open. and back to me too. Need to get out of my own shell.

Peace out (Y)

so weird...=.='''

normally ppl didn't ask me my number...

but today, when i was reading manga. got 2 ppl ask me for my number...

and i feel so weord abt today...

feel weird and weird..

got full activities and 2 ppl ask for my number...

i'm so happy...^_^

and weird..